So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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