Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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