My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize