I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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