dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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