if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize