We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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