i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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