Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize