haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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