We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The Olympian is in my bed
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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