i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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