I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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