Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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