he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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