Your tits are I can't wait for
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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