Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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