I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize