We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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