do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
last night I used snow as a chaser
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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