whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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