I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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