he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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