it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
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Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
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so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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