Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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