Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1047 607 share tweet
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize