why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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