Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize