I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
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Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
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Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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