Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg

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  (847): All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg http://tfl.nu/5dma
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (1495) Order T-Shirt
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  (649): View more from Turks & Caicos

  So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it

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  (649): So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it http://tfl.nu/3uw7
  Replies (4) Good night (668) Bad night (1136) Order T-Shirt
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?

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  (620): Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair? http://tfl.nu/bhha
  Replies (42) Good night (3128) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?

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  (912): Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance? http://tfl.nu/favq
  Replies (39) Good night (4752) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...

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  (509): I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber... http://tfl.nu/856a
  Replies (63) Good night (684) Bad night (4014) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.

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  (256): I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them. http://tfl.nu/zwx2
  Replies (31) Good night (1236) Bad night (5201) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently

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  (919): Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently http://tfl.nu/zenu
  Replies (21) Good night (3958) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.

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  (706): What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/pbev
  Replies (3) Good night (5912) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me

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  (631): I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me http://tfl.nu/qlti
  Replies (13) Good night (5203) Bad night (1105)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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  (+44): I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs. http://tfl.nu/qoq8
  Replies (7) Good night (2380) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...

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  (317): His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip... http://tfl.nu/pj0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1585) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.

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  (216): Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds. http://tfl.nu/t6po
  Replies (3) Good night (1657) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?

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  (513): I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete? http://tfl.nu/ue0i
  Replies (3) Good night (1079) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.

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  (860): Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers. http://tfl.nu/ep00
  Replies (7) Good night (316) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs

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  (847): They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs http://tfl.nu/t67m
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (133) Order T-Shirt

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