Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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