I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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