you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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