He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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