Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
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I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
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He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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