eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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