She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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