I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize