Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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