Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Panties = found
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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