matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize