I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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