I never want to see another naked old woman again.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
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It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Watching her eat just hurts me
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
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we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am naked and annoyed.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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