I love black thongs
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize