I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
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You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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