Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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