This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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