seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
home. puking in laundry basket.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize