What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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