well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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